I Once Wrote Lyrics for An Extended Version of the Striped Sweater Song from SpongeBob SquarePants

Well, this is quite odd. I went three years without posting anything on this blog, and suddenly, I'm posting two days in a row? Crazy, right?

Anyway, I'll admit that I haven't really been keeping up with SpongeBob SquarePants much in recent years. Like, I think the most recent episode that I watched in its entirety is the birthday episode that came out during the show's 20th anniversary back in 2019; that's how far behind I am in regards to the show. Regardless, I do have fond memories from when I was watching SpongeBob all the time as a kid, and one of those memories involves everyone's favorite fry cooking sponge singing off-key about a customer's striped sweater to a crowd of hungry and progressively more annoyed customers.

The customers may have wanted their Krabby Patties more than they wanted SpongeBob to entertain them, but I've always been quite amused by this scene! I was actually thinking about it a couple of years ago and thought, "What if there was more to the striped sweater song?" I mean, it was featured in The Yellow Album - a SpongeBob soundtrack that was released in 2005 - but all that was on it in regards to this song was the bit that SpongeBob sang on the spot in that episode, and I haven't been able to find an actual extended version! Thus, I ended up writing one myself, and today, I'm finally going to share it with the world. How did it take me this long to post it on the Internet? Well, I guess I just forgot I had a stupid little blog for whatever the heck I felt like writing about!

Anyway, ladies and germs.... I'd like to call this little number, "Striped Sweater".

The best time to wear a striped sweater

Is all the time

One with a collar, turtleneck

That’s the kind

‘Cause when you’re wearing

That one special sweater

You can make it through

Any kind of weather

The best time to wear a striped sweater

The best time to wear a striped sweater

Is all the time

The worst time to wear a striped sweater

Why, it’s never

I’d love to be wrapped up in its warmth

Forever

One made of eyelashes

Or one made from my tears

When compared to them,

The winner is so clear

‘Cause the best time to wear a striped sweater

The best time to wear a striped sweater

Is all the time

To the one wearing

The sweater with the green stripes

I know you can get

Through any kind of strife

‘Cause when you’re wearing

That one special sweater

You can make it through

Any kind of weather

The best time to wear a striped sweater

The best time to wear a striped sweater

Is all the time

And that's my extended version of the striped sweater song from SpongeBob SquarePants!

I know, I know, the lyrics I added on aren't very good. They don't feel like they were ad-libbed, and I'm not entirely sure how well they fit either the show itself or the actual lyrics that came before my lyrics. Well, at least I managed to sneak a reference to another episode in there!

Are these extended lyrics any good? I made them with my blood, sweat, and tears! Well, not really; it took me, like, ten minutes, if the version history of the Google Docs document is anything to go off of. It feels good to get them out there, anyway!